skripsiii

i don't really know what to write.
i just wanna blabbering my thoughts about this pressure.
it's almost the due date for my final assignment.
and i haven't finished it yet.
i'm scared if i can't make my parents proud.
i really wanna fulfill my parent's wish to graduate this year.
...with an A.
i hope.
i really hope i'm not dissapoint them.

time, the greatest king

when i say king, whom do you refer as the greatest one?
i will say TIME. are you agree with me?

it's been a while since i post something here. it's not because nothing happens in my life. in fact, lots of things happen to me. it's true, time is the greatest king of all. time can change people in a flash. remember at november 10th, Obama, the president of USA came to our university and gave his speech. i was lucky to have the ticket to see his speech. after waiting for more than 2 and a half hours, Obama finally came and did his speech. and it was awsome. and inspiring at the same time. one thing that i remember the most is that Indonesia belongs to Indonesians. it's true. i don't know why, but i feel kind of embarrasing that he said such things that really really encourage all of indonesians wherever they are. i mean, we have lots of good speaker, why ours can't say something like that and give such influent like he did in his really-short speach? that remains a mistery.

another thing that happened in my life is i was struggle to finish my final assignment. and it's not an easy job. i always think that working in different jobs has more challenge than working in just one kind of job. but i am wrong. for the past 2 weeks, all i do was try to finish my final assignment. and let me tell you, it IS harder than to juggle a lot of things in the same time. the commitment you have to put on yourself. for a person who loves to do lots of things at the same time, i find it really difficult. i have to learn how to manage my time according my mood haha. it really IS hard.

time does teach me a lesson; to use time wisely or at some point, time will kill you.
so, who's the greatest king of all?
TIME.

the ironic truth

an ironic truth. i went to RS Kanker Dharmais this late afternoon. i met someone who can help me to finish my final assignment. my final assignment is about the csr strategy in one company and how it is related to the company's reputation.

anyway,i met one parents there. they came from outside Jakarta. they came to take their daughter to hospital. i didnt't realize what's wrong with her at first, then i saw her eyes. her left eyes was actually smaller than the other. and the nurse said to me that her eyes were 'cat eyes' or mata kucing in bahasa. in the dark, our eyes won't usually shine. but we can see cat's eyes in the dark right? that's why this disease called mata kucing, cause the patient's eyes can shine in the dark. and this 18-months-girl had this disease. she had this since her age was 6 months. at that time, only her left eye that caught by the disease. i assumed her family is not wealthy so they decided not to take care the disease. sadly, now the disease has spread to her right eye. and the nurse said, if it had been taken care since they first caught the disease, the doctors can actually save the girl's eyes. but now, the doctors have to try to save the girl's life. and the chance she can actually see is really low. she got eye cancer.

18-months-girl. i wonder, it must feel painful and sad and i don't know, excruciating, not able to see this beautiful world around us. i actually have some troubles in my eyes. and it's enough for me. i really wanna take care of my eyes better. and i feel reallly really blessed to have such a great family who pays really good attention to my health.

i hope that 18-months-girl can make it. i hope the doctors can save her, save her eyes too. and when she grows, i hope she can make a difference and help other children from having the same disease like she had. meanwhile, i hope after i finish my school, i will able to help those unfortunate kids in every way i can do. cause they're just a kid who never do anything wrong. this is an ironic truth, a great nation with sick kids spread all over the country.

the question is, what will happen to this nation when the number of those sick kids keep growing and nobody can save them?

precious moments

i dedicated this post to my beloved friends KOMUNIKASI UI 2007 for every memory you've given in my life. every precious day, every tears, every laugh we did together means a lot to me. these pictures are nothing compared to every experience i did together with all of you. we almost arrive on our finish line. i wish nothing but the best to each of you..

HIDUP HUMASERS :)

Buka Puasa Jilid II




MBJ 05 dan 07...




Bedah Kampus entah jaman kapan :)

Waiting for something haha




Another waiting :(





Mencari duit bersamaaa..





ICON 07 goes to puncak



these pictures are just pictures
it means more because these pictures tell the story of us
:)

what a proud 'parents' haha

in communication ui history, selalu ada yang namanya masa 'pembimbingan' or in our world called P (won't say the name haha). the pattern usually goes dari ganjil ke ganjil atau genap ke genap. me and my other pals supposed to be 'taken care' by 05. but yeah history told another story. we got our chance, though.

anyway, yesterday, my so-called-children (09) had finished their first big event called Communication UI Cup 2010. and i would say, i'm proud of them. yeah there were some things that should have been taken care better than what they did. overall, they'd nailed it. i feel gulty too actually, cause i didnt spend enough time to help them on this event. but i'm happy for them. i read last night in one of them's twitter said about stabbing behind someone's back. hahahahhaa. i started to remember about my early year in UI, where we had to make our first event called commweekend. what made it so special to me was because we struggle hard to make it happen. and those 'backstabbing-thing' also happened along the way. and that way, we knew who our friends really are. it's sad. but eventually, those backstabbing-thing really help you to choose someone whom you can work with and trust. for me personally, i know some of my friends hated me that time. and one thing i learn was you can't be an arrogant-b***h all the time. at some point, you have to admit you made a mistake and ask for your friend's forgiveness. after the event finished, i realize that my friends never abandon me. they hate me for a while, but then they talk to me and tell me what i did was wrong. and i get my lesson. i only hope that the 09 learn something like that too. it's a good thing if you can take lessons from everything happens around you.

well, i don't wanna say anything except my deepest congratulation for 09 for their first big gig. i do hope that they will be better and better for their next event :)

dreaming with mr.disney

all of your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them
(Walt Disney)

it's never easy to make our dreams come true. i've learnt that the more you dream about something, the more you chase that dream, the possibility to make it come true is higher. one of the man to whom i can learn about chasing dreams is Walt Disney. who does not know about him? about his hard work to create such a funny yet heart-warming characters like donald duck, mickey mouse, and all those beautiful princesses. and everything started with his dream. and you know what, his cartoons also give us a lot of lessons that we can apply in our life.


even Ursula, the bad side in Little Mermaid tale, knows that life is full of tough choices. what we learn from this character is we have to know for sure what we really want. and of course there'll always two sides in every wish we want. choose wisely, so we can never regret it.



another thing that Walt Disney always implied related to love is that you never know whom you fall in love with. and the size of his heart can never be measured by the looks or their wealth. once you find someone you really care about, you have to take care of him and don't hurt him. never be ashamed of him, for you love his heart not his looks. that's important :)


i always hope one day i can finally meet someone who'll love and protect me like what beast do to belle. and i hope that someone won't judge me just from my looks (i'm the beast here, though haha).


another lesson that always exist in every Disney's cartoon is about bad people always lose at the end. this may sounds cliche, but it's true. and what makes it even more cliche, the bad people usually knows that what they do is wrong. yet they still do it. for money or because their boss told them to do it. what i like the most, Disney visualized about the bad things clearly. thus, children who watch it will eventually grow up with a good mindset like don't kill a deer recklessly (in bambi), jealousy is a dangerous thing (like in snow white), or the simplest one lying is bad (in pinokio). this one's taken from poccahontas (if i'm not mistaken)..



see? the bad guys actually know about that what they do is wrong. like i said? hahaha. this picture above also tells us about what happen in our world right now. the difference is there are too many 'bad guys' doing exactly like this. so it's kinda hard to attack all those people at once.


if i keep posting the pictures from walt disney cartoon, i won't sleep at all tonight. soo that's all folks. what i'm really trying to say here is that you don't need a book or a person to tell you things like that. all you have to do is keep your mind open. because you can find all the lessons around you, everywhere, from anything :)

i love this quote

i love this quote.
i love it cause sometimes i feel i wanna quit everything i've worked on.
i love it cause i know hard times can make me down
it can even make me cry with no reason.
i love this quote cause it always reminds me
there's always a reason why i do something
and that reason has been planned by God.
i love this quote.

being 21

i should have wrote about this since 4 days ago, when i celebrated my 21st years in this journey called life hahha. but apparantly, the internet hated me so i couldn't used it.

let me tell you about what happen that day and what lessons i got from that particular day.

05.00 am
everything started early in the morning. i slept early the night before because i was soo tired after working with my beautifull bosses, Ms. Prity and Ms. Rika. actually october 29th this year si friday. dan malem itu kebetulan malem jumat kliwon. i'm a coward, i have to admit that. so i asked my dearly mom to accompanied me through the night. when i woke up in the morning, i read all the messages in my cell, via facebook, and twitter. my dad came too and wished every good things in life to me. i was still sleepy. so i slept again.
Lesson One : My friends, wherever they were, still remembered my birthday. and they tried to congratulated me in every way. i rarely congratulated someone on their birthday. it's not because i don't care with them. it's simply because i forget about their birthday. at that moment, i decided give more attention to people around me.


09.00 am
i heard some noisy sound outside my door. hahaha i wondered who gave me surprise on that morning. and when i opened the door, i saw familiar faces from LACUR hahaha. i really, i mean REALLY happy that time. they also knew that i don't like cake, so they gave me macaroni schouttle (is it correct?). yummmmmyy. i could eat the whole macaroni by myself, if i don't care about my other pals hahahha. anyway, it was such a beautiful moments. and i'm glad i'd spent it with them.
this is the picture of my beloved surprise-team hahahaha :D










Lesoon 2 : you don't need a million close friends. you just need a few who really understand you and stand beside you when the sky's turning grey. guess what, they'd even considered the fact that i'm lack of sleep. so they decided to threw the surprise party in the morning. what a marvelous friends i have :)


08.00 pm
i had my family dinner. too bad i can't put the picture here. my sister came from bandung. it should have be a surprise for me. but Kibo accidently told me that she'd came haha. anyway, we had a great dinner. and i felt really happy that i could eat with the whole family and my grandma.
Lesson 3 : always spend some time - even just for a bit- with your family. they're the people who'll love you no matter how bad you are.

11.00 pm
i almost sleep, when i heard some noisy sound again outside my room. i thought it was my paragita mates, since we always threw a surprise party for our friends. it turned out to be my high-school friends haha. really, this one, i was really surprise. you know, i had a few close friends back then in high school. it continued until the second year in college. after that, i was bussied (is that even a wrod?) by everything i join, from BEM to other freelance work. so i rarely spend my times with them. and that make us feel soo far away. or at least, i feel so. but still, i was really happy they decided to come and said 'happy birthday' to me directly :)
Lesson 4 : don't think too much or made an assumption about something which probably not true. i made an assumption that my high-school pals hate me. now i have to ask a question to myself, instead of blaming them for not treating me like they do to each other, have i been a good friend to them? have i been there for their happiness and their loss?


as a conclution, my 21-years-old-day was not only full of excitement, but also full of lessons. lessons which i hope i can learn and do it for the rest of my life :)

jambore sanitasi 2010

yeaay sorry i write again haha :)

jadi ceritanya hari ini gue baru pulang dari jambore sanitasi 2010. it's an event held by Kementerian Pekerjaan Umum with Inke Maris and Associates. it's an event with more than 100 junior-high students sebagai peserta. since i did an internship in IMA, i was asked to help on this event along with zefa and sinjay (my intern pals). we met sasa for the first time there. basically what we did was being the chaperone for 12-13 students to help them finish their task. they're not just an average junior-high student. they are 'DUTA SANITASI PROVINSI'. isn't that cool? buat dateng ke jakarta, mereka harus jadi juara 1 atau 2 di provinsi mereka lewat karya tulis atau karya poster. and you know what, it was all good. the paper was great and so did the posters.

anyway, gue megang kelompok BIRU MUDA. anak-anak gue ada dari NAD, sumatera barat, bangka belitung, riau, kepulauan riau, jawa tengah, jawa barat, DKI jakarta, kalimantan timur. they were sooo cute ahahaha. i actually took a picture with them.


the youngest is Verren. she's an elementary student from Kalimantan Timur. dia nggak ikut Jambore ini sebagai peserta tapi sebagai tamu undangan. she won a poster competition back then in Kaltim. Hebaaaat hebaaat.

what we do? as a chaperone, we make sure that our 'kids' follow the schedule correctly. namanya anak SMP kadang-kadang suka bandel dibilangin haha. buat masalah tidur dan bangun pagi, dengerin materi. hey, it does sound familiar. hahaha, i guess i do it too :)
sebagai duta sanitasi mereka dapet pembekalan banyaaaaaak banget, dari materi tentang 3R, public speaking, sampe kunjungan ke tempat pemilahan sampah dan water treatment. selain itu, mereka juga ada kunjungan ke Kementerian Kesehatan dan Istana Wakil Presiden buat audiensi sama Ibu Herawati Budiono. how cool is that? i mean, how many kids in junior high in Indonesia, who get the chance to experience all of it?
hiburan pasti ada. anak-anak itu juga ngerasain dufan (since not all of them from Jakarta, they've been wondering what dufan looks like) dan pastinya belenji belenji di mall artha gading sama supermall karawaci. bahkan games yang dimaini sangat scientific, yang ngebuat gue and the rest of chaperone bingung hahaha..

what makes this event even more valuable for me is that i learn soo many things too. at first, i learn the the children in Indonesia is actually care about our environment. and they do a lot of little things to make their environment better. they are better than me actually. dari pengetahuan tentang drainage, sanitasi, sampe actionnya mereka jauuuuh lebih perhatian sama bumi daripada gue and maybe the rest of us. di salah satu presentasi, gue bahkan belajar how to manage sampah kesehatan atau apa gt. intinya gmn cara salah satu rumah sakit di salah satu provinsi, menyelesaikan masalah sampah rumah sakitnya, seperti jarum, infus, dll. dan gue baru tau kalo mereka buat bangunan tanpa udara buat nimbun semua sampah itu setelah dibakar dan dicampur dengan semen. cara itu jitu karena nggak akan membahayakan orang-orang di sekitar rumah sakitnya. dan anaknya yang ngasih info itu masih SMP!! WOW. itu ilmu baru banget buat gue.

the other valuable lesson dari acara ini adalah tentang anak-anak itu sendiri. karena berasal dari daerah yang beda-beda, background keluarga mereka juga saaaanggaaat bervariasi. and us, the chaperones, usually share stories about our 'kids' before we went to sleep. ada anak gue dari kepulauan riau, namanya asti. one thing about her is that dia sangat percaya diri dan easy going. two combination that will make someone great when you add 'humbleness'. dan dia punya semuanya. keluarganya berasal dari keluarga yang berkecukupan dulu. unfortunately, life didn't always go with our plan. rumah besar 3 lantai berharga 1 milyar itu akhirnya wasted karena usaha yang direncanain gagal. tapi asti tetep santai. kehebatannya dia adalah dia sangaaat sangaaat jago berpantun dan berpidato. even the ministry of public work (djoko kirmanto) salut sama asti karena jago berpantun. dari kemahirannya itu, dia mulai ikut lomba, bikin les pidato, bikin usaha membuat puisi, dll. and you know what, sometimes hadiah yang didapet digunain buat biaya dapur, biaya perjalanan ibunya, and other house stuff. hebat! yang membuat dy even more greater, is that kementerian kesehatan pun percaya sama dia. di tanjung pinang sana, dia aktif di salah satu program kemenkes. dan dia bilang, dia cuma mau bikin orang tuanya bangga. karena doa ibu selalu memberikan hasil terbaik buat dia. i salute her :)
masih banyak asti-asti lain di jambore sanitasi ini. satu yang pasti, anak Indonesia sekarang luar biasa. gue bahkan malu kalo inget sampe sekarang masih sering ngebebanin orang tua. salute for all participants in Jambore Sanitasi 2010!!

lesson 3 : mengurus anak ternyata sangat SANGAT SANGAT susah. menjaga mood anak, nyuruh makan, bangunin, ngejawab semua pertanyaan anak-anak. sangat susah. and for this, i salute every parents in the whole world. padahal cuma sebentar, tapi gue udah sangat kecapean ngurus 13 anak. kalo lagi capek, i imagine my own parents. were they dissapoint when they know they have me as their daughter? were they ever complain about taking care of me since i was a little girl? was i giving them a hard time? pertanyaan-pertanyaan itu terus muncul. when i took care of my '13 kids', no matter how tired i am, i could always smile. cause they were soo great. i even proud of them, even though they're not my own children. one of my 'kids' was sick. and i have to take care of her. brought food to her room, made a hot tea, accompanied her to hospital, talked with her when she was bored cause she didn't allow to do anything. wow. i salute my mom for always taking such a good care of me when i sick. i love you :)

i'm tired. of course i am. but i'm also happy and proud to be involved in this event. i hope one day, in a diferent way, i can make my parents happy just like 'my kids' made me happy. and one day, i hope my own child will make me happy as a parents and be a great and proud Indonesian children, just like 'my kids' did.

i love you all, LASKAR BIRU MUDA :))

THE BEST MAN IN MY UNIVERSE :)

well apparantly, it's true that when we broke up with someone and wait patiently, we may find a man good enough and loyal enough to be on our side. but do you really think that this man really is the one?

i'm sooo lucky to have the best man in the whole universe. it's my DAD!!!!

ahhahahahaaa. i bet you all think that your dad is the greatest too. yuup yuuup. mine is sooo great that i wanna marry one of man like him. loyal and love his family soo much. my dad lives his life easily yet steady. he knows what he wants. but he never force himself to work hard to achieve his dremas. in fact, can you tell me whether your dad always, and i mean always, has a time to drive you to school until you're in university? or pick you up anywhere anytime when you have some things to do? so yes, mine is that great :)))

and the reason why i write this post is a talk between my dad and i just a moment ago. i've had my dinner actually tonight. after 6 days in work, my dad miss me. and when he came back from work, he asked me to accompany him having his dinner. and i did.
and the talk started when he talked about his health. that he felt old. actually his body is not that bad. he had a good life style. but one thing that bad in him is his knee. whenever he walks, he is always hold on his knee. in fact, he told me that in a year he thinks that he needs a driver.
as the first daughter of his, i feel terrible that i missed my driving lesson and don't take one again now. it happens because i had a car accident early this year. you see, i hitted a motorcycle driven by a young boy and girl. both of them didn't use their helmet nor brought driving lisence. they were wrong too. but since i drove the car and hitted them, i feel sooo bad that i can't forget about that accident. both of them are well. but i never forgot how they flied and hitted the ground and lost their consciousness. since then, i never drive again.

having those conversation with my dad about how his knee hurt, really made me sad that i can't help him. in fact, all my life i always made him busy and mad. i feel useless as his daughter. i really wanna change that. i want to be a great daughter for my parents, especially my dad. can i? the only way to do that is erase the memory about those accident and start practice. but it is sooo hard to do.

but, once you've had a reason -a strong reason- to do something for someone that's really important for you, you can do practically everything, right?

i will. start from this driving thing.
i will help my dad. my parents. my family. all my loved ones.
i will make them proud having me as part of their family.











papichi :*

first love by nikka costa

this is my second post. do you remember about this song :

everyone can see. there's a change in me. they all said i'm not the same kid i used to be. don't go out and play. i just dream all day. they don't know what's wrong with me and i'm too shy to say. it's my first love. what i'm dreaming of when i go to bed. when i lay my head upon my pillow. don't know what to do..

the question is : what's your definition of first love?


ini pertanyaan paling basi di dunia. tapi tetep aja jawabannya bisa banyak banget. some will say first love is love that came too early. when we were young and didn't know what love is. some will say, first love happened when they had a boyfriend/girlfriend for the first time.

i will say, first love is a kind of love which you can never forget. though the love had passed for weeks, months, years, you can still remember every act they did. it doesn't matter when you have a new lover. cause when everything's over, when your new relationship has ended, all you think about is your past love. first love for me is personal. i've had couple of relationships. and i started my first when i was in elementary school haha. do i consider it as my first love? ahaha guess it by yourself. for me, first love doesn't always have to be my future. first love for me simply a love i never forget :)

oktober abu-abu

i'm gonna write two post today, since i felt two contradictive things. this one's called oktober abu-abu.
mengapa oh mengapa oktober menjadi abu-abu? hmmm it supposed to be the happiest month. f all since i'm having my birthday on this month. i just felt that today has turned this month to the worst month so far. i'm tired. and this is too much. just too much of everything. too much to handle. too much pressure. too much orang yang sakit. too much pengeluaran. too much makan. too much loneliness..
and everything bercampur baur jadi satu. i wish i could say i'm strong. but i'm not. i wish i could do lotsa different thingss, instead all i choose were wrong choices. i wish i could be the hero of the month who could save the day and make it colorful again. but i'm not. and i won't.

desperado. maybe you can call me that now.

30 days to 21

it's september 29 and i'm 21 in just a month. suddenly sometihing hits me. have I been a good DINDA for this past 20 years? have I done anything good?

i've spent my childhood full of happiness. i've sang a thousand times in everywhere i could've imagine. i made a lot of new friends, friends which i might never met again now. it's a blessed having such a childhood like that. it shaped me to be a time-well-managed person. a multitasking person, to be exact. and those are two good things that i will always hold forever.

and the education i've followed, well i can't thank my parents enough for pushing me real hard. it's harder when i'm in elementary. and though it decreases when i grow up, the lesson i've gained never leave.

after all of those blessed, why still i think that i'm not good enough for my age? i feel like i can do more. and i have to do more.

i still have 30 days untill i reach 21. i will make them count :)

age 20ish act like 17ish hahaha :))

the last time that i really love someone was .... mmm... long time ago? hahahhaa. okay,so i've decided to 'take-a-look' at boys (oh myy that sounds corny -__-") and i found one that attract me ahahhahaay. maluuuuu. it's not that i love him already. but remember his weirdo act sometimes makes me laugh. hahahaha. padahal orangnya ga pernah ngelucu juga. bahkan dia so faaaaaaaarrrrr awaaayy juga dari saya. so i've only seen him one or two times in college. kalo kata ega, lumayan buat 'deg deg seer' ajah hahaha. love youu gaa :)

anyway, this guy iiiiss out of reach of course, dan gue nggak ngeliat juga ada masa depannya buat gue sama dia. jadi mungkin memang hanya untuk 'dilihat' tapi 'dipegang jangan' hahahaha, just like one of dewi persik's movie :p

hahahaa, this post is full of laugh. even my dad noticed yesterday that i couldn't stop smiling huahahahhahahaaaa. maluuuuuuu.

udaah aah postnya, isinya ketawa mulu hihi :p

48KG!!!!

from everything that happened today, i guess the number 48 will haunt me for the rest of my week. astagaaa berat badan ternyata melonjak nakal hingga 48 kilo. desperado. udah 4x nimbang hari ini disertai jokes mama waktu sampai rumah.

gue (setelah nimbang di timbangan mama) : horeee mah beratku turuun. tadi pagi nimbang di timbangan kamar beratnya 48, sekarang di kamar mamah jadi 46!

mama : oooh timbangan di kamar mama tuh beda 2kg sama timbangan di luar

gue (sangat histeris dan senang) : weee berarti beratku 44 ya maaah hahahaha. senaaaangggg.

mama : bukan, timbangannya kurang 2kg dibanding di luar

gue : zzzzzzz '____'

astagaaaa, jadi sebenernya timbangan kamar gue bener 48. dan itu terjadi dalam sehari setelah malem minggu kemaren makan 2 porsi nasi sama lauk malem-malem. siauuuulll!
menyesaaal sekali sayaa.

so i've decided to put an extra effort in order to make my body smaller hahhaa. i put a sign on the wall wrote "SEMANGAT TURUNIN BERAT BADAN 40kg" hiyahahahahahhaa. then i wrote some easy exercises which i have to do everyday. i've started those exercises today. dan kerasa banget badan udah kakuuuu sangat.

when i was in junior high, OSIS selalu lari setiap minggu. push up, sit up juga selalu ada. ditambah merpati putih yang selalu ada setiap hari sabtu. it made my body healthier than now. i have to make it better.

if everyone else can do it, I CAN DO IT TOO :)

broken plan

how many times have you planned something and end up screw it? mine is today. me and a group of mine called PELACUR (please don't think negatively about the name, the name stands for pelaku curhat hahaa) plan to have this beautiful sunday to bandung. we've planed this since early september. and today i can't make it because of this damn astma. i feel bad about it.

meanwhile, my choir has its audition today. so me and my friends did the inmterview and let them tested by our coach. thank God everything went smooth. except that jumlah peserta audisinya sedikit. another broken plan. but we still have our last chance on october 3rd audition. we'll just have to prepare it better.

i guess every plan has the possibility to fail. it is our job to minimize the failure. i usually not really that bad in minimizing something like that. cos i lower my expectation rather than rising it. i always think everything in a bad way, that something might screw whatever plan i made. at the end, i guess i'll have to keep believe that God will show me the best way. and i DO believe that every God plans, every wrong turn, every bad ending, is very special. because God will always gives what's the best for each of His people.

so thank God for every broken plan i made, cos it taught me a lot of things :)

another frightened thing on my mind

as a communication student, we learn about a number of communication theories that will help us to explain everything that happen in our daily life. on of the theory that appears to me now is about television and crime. the theory said (i forget the name of it) that someone who spend more time watching television, who happen to broadcast a lot of crime, will feel more anxious when she walks alone in the street. means that she will be more afraid that the world is as bad as the television said. well, this theory actually happens to me now in a different way.

i seldom watch tv, because i rarely found an interesting program in our tv (indonesian program). so i usually watch movies and serials. and i loove action movie, until it made me afraid about everything in my life. i didn't know when it started. all i know is right now, i begin to be more aware. i started to be just like my mom, cheking my entire house every night, make sure we've locked all the doors. sometimes when my dad came late, i even called him and asked when he will back. and this week, this paranoia gets to the next level, i even scared to sleep in my own room!!!
i don't know what happen to me. i am afraid of everything. i am afraid something bad will happen to my sister in Bandung, so i force her to accept my mom's cell, since hers cannot accept any phone (which is important when she's in trouble). and today, my dad, brother, and i watched war movie that reaaalllyyy scary. i hate it so much.

sooo i keep wondering, what happen to me? is it because of i rarely pray so that i feel so afraid everytime? hmm i guess that's one point i must do.

above everything, i also wonder why oh why the world need to be this way? in newspaper, radio, television, indonesia, and the rest of the world, crime is increasing. why? doesn't the world will be a better place when we start to respect each other and help each other and just live in peace? why some people have to be that egoist? only want to have their own happiness and satisfaction without thinking about what others feel?

does the phrase 'world peace' only just a phrase consists of 2 words without meaning?

personal taste - my personal taste of korean drama :)

okaay, everyone has seen it already. everyone has gone crazy of Lee Min Ho cause of it. dan gue baru sekarang huahahahahhaaa. at first i think this drama is not that good. basically, you can guess about the story and how the ending will be.

only after chapter 9 i realllyyy realllyyy REALLLYYY love this drama. awww what i like the most is somehow i see a little bit of myself in park gae in. not the part where she is soo damn creative, etc. but the part where she'll do almost everything for the guy he loves. at this drama, park gae in told jeon jin ho that eventhough he doesn't love her as a woman, she still wants to be with him and marry him just for the sake of his mother's. so basically, she's eager to do impossible thing for him. awww. and the best part is that he loves her that much too.

you know i often think where to find someone who love me thaat much. or am i someone who doesn't deserve that kind of love? cause i'm tired to always fight for someone and got nothing in return. not entirely 'nothing'. haaaahhh. i always talk about this kind of thing with my best one. but still i can't find the answer.

well i guess, meanwhile i'm waiting for the right love to come, i'll try to make alll my dreams come true and of course, watch personal taste :))

what's the definition of bestfriend?

i've just read one of my colleague's blog and suddenly i feel an urge to write again and ask this important yet -sometimes- taken for granted question, what is bestfriend? what kind of caracteristic that make somebody someone's bestfriend?

-like i said, important yet ,sometimes, taken for granted-

hmmm how should i start this post? bestfriend. it's a dangerous word for me. gatau kenapa masalah sahabat selalu bisa bikin tensi naik berpuluh kali lipat dibanding masalah pacar. untill now, i have mad my very own definition of bestfriend; someone who can make you talk (means that he/she listens to your story) and at the same time make you hear (what i mean is that he/she also talks to you about their problem). jadi sahabat buat gw adalah sebuah hubungan timbal balik. what happens to me usually i talk and talk and talk about every detail of my life, while they-who-claimed-themselves-as-my-bestfriend hear and hear and hear. at first, it was fun. i get a lot of advices from people around me. until at some point, i realize that they don't trust me to share about their problem. trust. it's a 'hard word'.it's not easy to make someone trust you.

soo yeah, beside all of the usual definition (bestfriend is someone who will stay beside you in a good and bad time, bla bla bla..), i personally added reciprocity as one of the most important thing in this kind of relationship.

i can't thank enough to God for sending me these wonderful bestfriends (you know who you are :*). one day, i'll tell you their super-power that makes our relationship lasts.

:) ciao now

menguruskan badan :)

it's a little embarassing to write such a title like that. but that's all i plan for now.

it's been a while since i wrote my last post. only 3, nda? haha. i'm a little busy with my life lately. well, it's my fault basically. i always do the same thing, try to do a lot of things in the same time without thinking about its effect to my life. it happens again and again. jadi gue seperti apa ya itu nama hewannya lupa. yang selalu ngulangin kesalahannya haha. but i've got my lesson though.

okey, about menguruskan badan, actually i'm not that fat yet not that thin either. thin kurus kan ya?huahahaha. sok-sok berbahasa inggris tapi ngaco hehe. banyak lemak yang entah kenapa nyaman banget di badan yang entah kenapa ga tinggi-tinggi dari jaman smp. sedihnjo :""(

sooo i've decided to change the way i live my life a little bit. sorry, not a little. hari ini sudah belenji bersama mamah buat cari makanan bergizi tapi juga ga bikin gemuk. akirnya tadi beli nasi merah, kentang, roti gandum. huahhaaha kalo dimakan semua mungkin gendut juga kali gue. soo i'll change the way i eat. buat tes awal, besok makan roti gandum with low fat milk. beras merah, for starter, dicampur sama beras putih. for your info, gue baru tau juga kalo beras putih yang putiih banget itu ga bagus. karena dikasih pemutih. dasarnya beras warnanya butek. so be careful when choosing your rice.

what else? hmm i plan to do excercise too. emang dasar pemalas, olahraga bisa jadi cuman 2minggu sekali atau malah kalo niat aja tiba-tiba. i can't ride a bike. i can't do skipping. not yet siih. resolusi gue lah ini olahraga ringan harus bisa banget hehe.

just like my old pals said : first dream something big. then try to be that something. i dream one day i can live a healthy life with a healthy body. this's my way to make my dream comes true.

so, it your turn now to make yours come true too :)

belajar belajar, belajar?

it's final exam time!!!

masalah males itu pasti selalu muncul, dan sebagai dateliners, biasanya i will wait untill the night has come. night in here means above 10 pm. then i start study. hahaha. kebiasaan belajar yang sangat buruk, consider i have to make my brain work harder. but i heard once that in studying, we have to find our type dalam belajar. and this's mine. dan hasilnya selama ini juga membuktikan kalo emang tipe gitu yang paling pas haha. efeknya tapi badan jadi sangat amat capek. and that happens to me. kasur berasa surga banget kalo abis belajar semalam suntuk. soo,should i change my habbit though it works great to me?

oyeah, i re-read a book called Letters To Matthews. you MUST read it. it's a great book about changing yourself into a better person. and one thing that i always remember, and i hope i will do is that we must find our passion, and we'll never need to work again. damn true. at this time, i just wish that studying is my passion. hahaha, supaya ga males dan semangat belajarnya. guess i'll have to try make it my passion. for now. hehe :p

siapa yang menghargai pekerjaannya tidak pernah merasa lelah bekerja

the ultimate gift. just re-read it again. that sentence taken from chapter 3, hadiah kerja. have you ever read it? it's about a guy who just had his great-grandfather died. and everyone on his family dapat warisan dari kakeknya. kecuali dia. and the more you read, you'll know he got his part too. it's more than jusat a farm and a company worth $600 million. he gave him lessons to live. about work, knowledge, friends, family. you must read it. it's a REALLY good book.

satu yang paling bagus dan bisa diinget trs di chapter hadiah mimpi. Jim Stovall, the writer, wrote :
'pada saat-saat ketika kita benar-benar ingin memiliki lebih banyak hal dalam kehidupan kita, kita harus memikirkan hal-hal yang telah kita miliki. dengan melakukan hal itu, kita sering akan menemukan bahwa kehidupan kita telah penuh sampai berkelimpahan'

and after that, he wrote about the golden list. it's a list filled with 10 things that you really feel thankful for. you can write for every small things, like i'm thankful for my health, etc. and everytime you wake up in the morning, make sure you see that list. you'll feel even more thankful after that. i've tried one myself. and yeah, i feel enough. though it doesn't last long, but it does help me.

so why don't you try to make your own golden list. see if it helps you too. happy trying :))

domirefamilasolsido

domirefamilasolsido. kinda weird and hard to write all over again. stupid me, i only save what i wrote and did not post it. huh. okay here we go again. domirefamilasolsido. i love to siing. mucho. and i think these 8 tones are amazing. have you ever think that there are more than a thousand songs composed from those 8 tones? yeah of course ada kres,mol,pugar, trus oktaf yang dipake ga cuma satu. but basically, using only these 8 tones. amazing. domirefamilasolsido. nadanya lompat-lompat. just like my live. full of jumps and downs. tapi cb deh kalo lagu nadanya ga naik turun, didengerin pun akan flat aja. just like our live,enjoy the ups and downs. and when you look at the past you'll see how amazing your life was. just like a song full of up-and-down tones. just amazing :)))