expecting unexpected things

i tried to post something since yesterday. i kept on thinking about something before i went to sleep.
you know, i haven't been in a relationship since three years ago. time do flies really fast. for all those times, i keep on bragging to my friend to find me a good guy for me. but somehow, deep down i know i kinda enjoy being alone. at least for now. though at some other times, i feel like i'm alone. like i have nobody to talk to about every dreams i have, every plans i make.

everyday looks like a never ending routine. though i start to enjoy it. i think i need something unexpected or something new to do beside all my daily activities. you know, last friday i got a phone call from a radio i've applied like last year. they offered me a spot for announcer there. and i turned them down. and yet, they called me again last friday. too bad, it went to voicemail. tried to call them back, but i got nothing. it was unpredictable. i think i need that kind of things in my days. i don't wanna end up like someone who doesn't appreciate things that's been given to her. cause i do.

in the middle of my routines, i found several source of happiness, by hearing a lot of good things happen to my dearest one. this close friend of mine, she's involve in some kind of relationship with a boy. she didn't say that they are officially a couple. yet, she was already asked to meet the parents, friends, etc. when she told me the first time, i couldn't stop smiling. i was soo happy that she's happy. another close friend of mine, he got a great offer from a great place. he was confuse about what to do with the offer. cause it was a really really good one. somehow, beneath my self-loathing about my ability, i feel really happy for him. and for a moment, i couldn't help but smiling like i'm the one who got that best offer. this happened too when my sister celebrated he 3years 10months with her boyfriend. i was super happy for her. there's nothing i wish for than tons of happiness for my baby sister. love her too much.

another silly thing is i couldn't stop smiling too whenever i put my ipod on and listen to all of those love songs. especially, one of original soundtrack from Tangled, called I See The Light. it was sang by mandy moore and zachary levy. i don't know why, but everytime i hear Zachary levy's part, i can't stop smiling. literally. in my cubicle, i keep on smiling and repeating that part. weird, considering i have nothing on the same condition, like that song. no boyfriend, no fairy-tales-soon-to-be-love.

those things got me thinking, maybe those sources of happiness i found, were things unexpected in my daily life. maybe for now i should be patient until i find something unexpected between all of those unexpected things.
huuuff i hope my life will be more interesting tomorrow, or the day after.
and if it hasn't, i hope i still have a courage to look for it.

yeah yeah yeah ~

Self Trip

i always wanna take a spontan trip and just take off to somewhere far far from this crowded-slash-busy city called jakarta. so, next friday, i get a day off from office. i didn't plan that actually. my boss said that i got a day off if i worked on saturday. and i did work on last saturday. so i applied to get a day off, and voila i got it, without any plan. shoot. i don't want to spend those three days at home, watching more dvds. i wanna go somewhere, do something. even if i have to go alone. a bit scary though. but why should i keep waiting for company, when i can go all by myself?

so i did a little research. i decide to see Yogyakarta. i searched for planes and trains. it's a bit expensive, considering i'm just a newbie in my office. but hey, it's a chance to arrange my escape, even for a moment. after that, my friend offered me to go to Medan with her. She wants to meet her cousins there. hmm it's a tempting offer. but Medan is also outside javanese island. and i don't think my parents allow me to go outside this island by myself. i did ask my so-called-clique friends to come with me. yeah and as usual, no direct and exact answer. so i take it as a no.

soo here i am. alone at last. trying to create a nice-slash-cheap escapade.
who knows, maybe one day i get a chance to travel around indonesia.
one day, just wait and see :)

playing : '..gotta live like we're dying'
NICE!!